Shoshana Berger and Nina Willdorf have launched an invite-only dinner series where women aged 40 and older use generative AI to solve midlife problems. The founders, former editors at WIRED and Ideo, describe the gatherings as a practical response to the administrative overload of managing families, aging parents, and careers simultaneously.
Origins of the society
The group formed after Berger and Willdorf attended a friend’s birthday party. Both women were discussing Claude, the AI model, while the other guests looked on with glazed eyes. Berger noted that the women in the room were not part of the conversation. She told Willdorf that the discussion might be a business opportunity because many women needed to engage with the technology.
Before the first event, the pair took beta blockers and ashwagandha to manage their anxiety. They were inviting accomplished women who were not AI experts. The founders approached the technology as reporters would: they tested the tools in ways that many attendees had not yet tried.
Willdorf stated that while they are not advocates for every aspect of AI, they feel committed to the idea that involvement is essential. They believe sitting out the technology causes people to do themselves a disservice.
Rules of engagement
Every party has a set of rules. Attendees must bring a laptop and a specific midlife problem, which the founders call a midlife quandary. The group spends 15 minutes in library time, where everyone works on their issue individually.
Berger and Willdorf walk around the room to guide participants. They suggest specific tools or large language models and advise on prompt engineering. If a prompt feels weak or the answer is unsatisfactory, the founders help the user iterate.
One rule is an ideological parking lot. The events are not designed for discussions on how AI will ruin the world. While the founders acknowledge fears about the technology, especially for creatives, the focus remains on gaining fluency and reducing administrative load.
Willdorf added that attendees also eat good cheese and drink wine.
Selection process
The events have been oversubscribed since the first dinner. The founders limit the optimal number of guests to between eight and 12. Larger groups become chaotic. Their best sessions feature a mix of professionals from nonprofits, design, philanthropy, and CEOs, alongside people managing households.
Willdorf noted that most people cannot immediately identify a software-shaped problem in their lives. The founders help participants see issues that AI could actually assist with.
Practical applications
The society focuses on pragmatic ways AI helps with midlife overload. Berger dislikes the term sandwich generation, noting it sounds like the tasteless tomato in between two slabs of bread. She pointed out that the reality involves parents needing help and children launching or not.
One attendee brought a mother with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. She needed to know if her mother qualified for long-term care under an insurance plan. The insurer sent a 300-page packet. The woman fed the document to AI, which confirmed her mother was qualified and offered to draft a letter to argue the case.
Another example involved a consultant who had lowballed her fee. She asked Claude to review her proposal and make it bulletproof. The AI responded that the scope of work was not priced correctly, suggesting she double her rate. The client did not blink when the consultant raised the price.
Berger argued that women have long suffered from being seen as domestic laborers rather than economically valuable assets. She stated that if anyone needs to optimise their time, it is women. She compared AI to a washing machine, noting it gives women many hours of the day back through automation.
Why age 40 plus
The founders narrowed the focus to people aged 40 and older because the product-market fit is spot on. They believe women over 40 have very discerning taste after decades of honing it. They know how to ask sharp questions and have strong bullshit meters.
Willdorf added that they will not take the first answer. They keep probing and pushing for better results.
Berger felt that the tools were built for people with a certain level of intelligence and accrued experience. She stated the software is not really built for young people or those who have not already gone through the failure and friction of life. She noted that experience teaches what makes for a good question.
What it means
The society offers a structured space for women to move beyond fear and test the technology in their own workflows. The founders argue that fluency is now a requirement for relevance in the work world. By focusing on specific, high-stakes problems like insurance claims and consulting fees, they demonstrate immediate utility without requiring users to become technical experts.
