The term weaponised incompetence has become a staple of online dating conversations. It refers to a person, usually a man in heterosexual relationships, who pretends to be unable to cook, clean, schedule events, or show thoughtfulness so their partner will handle the work. Orchid, a new AI agent, launched this week with the promise of solving relationship issues by performing those tasks for an inconsiderate partner.
A promotional video released on Wednesday showed a boyfriend named Sam playing video games and checking expired food while forgetting his anniversary. When Orchid reminded him of the date, Sam typed that he could handle it. The AI replied that he could not because that was its purpose. Orchid then booked a table and bought lilies, which were the girlfriend’s favourite flowers. Sam did not remember this detail. The girlfriend used Orchid throughout the day and knew the AI was doing the labour, yet she allowed Sam to claim credit for the plan.
Users on X criticised the campaign. They called it an appeal to adult babies uninterested in the world they live in. They also argued it perpetuates dead-end relationships that both parties secretly hate.
Relationships need direct communication
Orchid will not resolve long-simmering resentments through task management. Lauren Maher, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, said trying to outsource difficult but necessary communication prevents couples from facing the messy but meaningful growing pains of their relationship.
An AI app will never be able to compensate for a lack of attention or genuine caring. No amount of feigned attention will convince the nervous system that someone is there for you when they are not.
Maher added that triangulation is regularly advised against in couples therapy. Triangulation is the term for when individuals do not speak to each other directly but communicate through a third party. Now there is the bizarre option to triangulate the nonhuman entity of AI into romantic relationships. She said Orchid’s use case for couples is only a temporary mask for problems in the relationship that are likely to sprout later. While this is being marketed as a solve, indirect communication is notorious for straining relationships. Orchid did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
Users find AI dating advice confusing
The actual usefulness of AI assistants remains in doubt when it comes to matters of the heart. A recent survey from astrology app Hint polled more than 13,000 adults across the US, Latin America, and Europe. AI assistants are actually making dating decisions harder. Fifty-nine percent of participants said the advice left them more confused than before. Overburdened with too much machine-generated guidance, 47 percent said AI input influenced them to postpone decisions about their romantic relationships.
Orchid focuses on workflow
The company’s viral ad seems to be a bait-and-switch more than anything. Its larger ambitions are focused on workflow. The pitch is the ideal agent to automate your life. It offers to work across your connected apps without requiring you to switch between them.
It is unclear, beyond its texting feature, what makes it unique from other AI agents.
The ad featuring the couple certainly generated a lot of chatter about the company. A blog post from June stated the company wants to usher in a new vision for how people do, well, everything. But fixing a shitty relationship probably isn’t one of those things.
